Babies...

Ok it's spring time and it seems like there are babies everywhere. And that craving of being a mom really isn't going away as quickly as it used to. I really want to have kids some days and Danny and I've discussed the possibility along with when the timing would be right. I think we've pretty much decided that when it gets closer to August we'll start to really pray and think about it. And there is a huge part that can not wait for August. But there is another part that is really hesitant. I don't wanna look back in 5 years and say "I wish I would've enjoyed the time Danny and I had together instead of rushing into the family life." I keep trying to remember to enjoy this moment. And it's really not easy. I really want a family. But deep down I know it's not the right time. And I know it's gonna be really hard to be sick and still have to work. And with Danny still going to school even when we have a baby I'll probably still have to work for another year or so. And that will be tough. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I wanna be able to take my kids to the park and the library and have fun with them.

I don't like being torn. I wanna enjoy the time I have with Danny. We wanna have fun and travel and see the world. Things that we probably wouldn't be able to do with kids. But I don't want to put off having a family so I can play and enjoy life. I don't wanna feel selfish.

Maybe I'm PMSing. That's why I'm so indecisive. Haha